My gf Soph came with me to this party especially when it could've been awkward. I wasn't scared at all. because i dont doubt myself in anyway but you never know how things could turn pear shaped.
Walked straight in there wanting to go Straight to the birthday girl giving her my little gift i made for her. Was little excited to give it to her. since i kinda struggle to find her a perfect gift that was me but not just a typical present like Tiffany's. We both like each others Style but i wanted to give her something that she would keep and always remember as something to look back on and whats most important. seems a little clechaie however i didn't want her to have it as though always remember its from me. more the fact that one thing is important and its your life. I had bought her a long necklace with a locket that you can open up or place a photo inside. I bought a little pendent of a bicycle to go with it. so cute the little wheels move on it. however i engraved the word "Happy" inside it. So one day in the future if she ever doubts herself ever she should look back at it and know whats more important. Her life her happiness.
So back to what i intended to share was as soon as i walked through the door, he was there.Standing directly opposite me about 3 meters away from where i was standing. It was as though everything just froze in that moment. Was silence could hear nothing. Could see no one. was just us however. You could just see he was so shocked to see me. i think he really thought i didn't have the guts to show up. Because mid last year him & his sister had their house warming, where i use to live. We had our first little break up if thats what its called and invited me to come but i just didn't show. thought it would be to wierd. Having there house warming in my old place and we weren't anything at that point.
Thats another little chapter.
However this time he was more shocked and surprised because a week or two ago he admitted to me saying he cant be friends with me anymore so the last message was sorry and goodbye.
Which i find a little pathetic however what else can i do other than respect what he wishes. You cant force someone to be there friend. Just frustrating because we were hanging out again and its as though we get along to well then something happens as though im disappointed. i get get annoyed or little frustrated but im not devastated and going to hold it against him so hence why i find the whole thing pathetic. Clearly doesn't know me that well. thats when the saying comes in everything happens for a reason. but at the same time i dont honestly believe that because its each to there own lives and everyone can make something of it if they want it so badly.
the night was going lovely caught up with his friends which i miss because they are so lovely to chat to. easy going. they make you feel welcome. which is really sweet of them.
All his friends came up to me which i thought was lovely i kind of just sat there with Soph making sure she felt comfortable and we all just moved around and sat and chatted.
What i dont understand and find annoying is that Soph caught him out looking at what i was doing. Then later on one of the guys that was there for the birthday was sitting talking to me and we were just chatting and the guy kept asking me is there a particular reason why he keeps looking over. What am i suppose to say " umm not quiet sure" Mind you still not one hello yet. did not come up to me at all. i was ok with that. however doesn't give you the right to keep looking over your shoulder.
Already i felt like it must be annoying me but at the same time it shouldn't be my problem anymore because he made it official that we cant be friends
So moment after the awkwardness of him asking why is he looking over. The guy just kissed me!! randomly. its always nice when its unexpected but depending on who it is and the moment its in. At this moment i was just shocked and was still. i froze. I felt like perfect revenge but even that word is so harsh however. i felt so bad but good. but was just all to much i thought. thats not one i intended to happen at all however it did feel like i was in a movie or a Bridget Jones moment. As though liberating music would come on at that very moment.
